The Secret Laws Of Attraction

Quick fixes aren't the answer

In the last few years we have all be trained to look for the easy way to do things. Television, magazines and the internet constantly promises us magical results: lose 15lbs this week, tone your body in 3 minutes a day, make six figures a year working four hours a week. You know the stuff.

We are continuously fed the lie that success doesn't take hard work or effort.

I guess we just wouldn't buy something that declared 'Use your hard work and willpower to lose 2.5lbs this week.'

We want quick fixes, and blame ourselves when they don't work. With each easy method that doesn't work, (not that we ever really stick to them) we label ourselves or the system a failure and look for the next thing.

We want newer and faster, we look for 'no willpower needed' and cling to phrases like 'work smarter, not harder' — after all who wants to work harder?

A few years ago a movie called "The Secret" revived people's interest in the Law of Attraction — we no longer had to do anything.

We just had to visualize what we wanted and magically the Universe sent it to us.

I'm a motivational speaker — I'm meant to tell you this stuff works. Just imagine it happening and it will. Believe in yourself and everything will change. Blah, blah, blah.

I'll be honest — I still spend the first 20 mins of each day visualizing what I want to happen in my life.

Sometimes I write out my goals. Sometimes I just think about them with a cup of tea. I'm learning to meditate.

So why do I do this if I don't believe it works?

It's not that it doesn't work, it does.

If you spend the first 20 minutes of the day visualizing AND then the rest of the day working towards what you want.

Learning to believe in yourself is only worth it if you use that belief to spur you into action. If you want the body, the career or the life of your dreams you have to take action.

This is good news.

Really. There is only one way to know the joy of working towards what you want, following your passion — and that's to do it. If it's the path you are meant to be on, the work is part of the reward.

I can't promise that you are going to love every minute, but you are going to be learning the skills, and the lessons, and the self-discipline that are all an integral part of success in any field.

Yes you need to dream, but you also need the discipline of action.

Watch an athlete at his peak, you can't fake the years of training that takes. You can't fake learning, or experience, and even if you could bluff your way through life you'd be missing out on the true reward.

Skeletor Explains the Law of Attraction (The Secret of the Universe)

Skeletor Explains the Law of Attraction (a.k.a. The Secret of the Universe)

As Told to by The Late Mitchell Warren

In my line of work, I often write about the “law of attraction.”  For a time, I never believed in it. However, after reading Skeletor’s book and seeing things from a different perspective, I realized that all of it is true.  But instead of attempting to explain it myself, I decided to ask Skeletor to write an advertisement for his book.  Subversify usually doesn’t advertise books without a review, but I had to make an exception in this case.

I’m not going to bother introducing myself.  You know who I am.  Next to perhaps Barack Obama, I have the most evil and recognized name in the universe.  Well, a funny thing happened to me back in 1977.  Lyn, my girlfriend at the time (before she was Evil) started pontificating about how some people are destined to be ordinary.  She wondered if she and I were also doomed to remain ordinary people of Eternia, always serving others.  Always dreaming of a better future, but never reaching our goals. It was a demoralizing conversation for sure.  We both detested the idea of settling for the average, and borrowing other people’s will.  The idea of living miserable lives, and perishing with ordinary people on this primitive and tasteless planet.  Just as I was about to start cutting myself to relieve the stress, she then said something to me that really stuck in my mind. My interest was piqued, at least until she confessed that she had lifted the conversation from Hordak.  Not that I don’t love talking about my girlfriend’s exes and their wisdom of the world.  (Hold for sarcasm)  But Hordak was my idea of a successful man.  He had power, wealth and groupies.  I wanted to be Hordak.  No, I wanted to be better than Hordak.  I wanted to be the most powerful man in the universe and wouldn’t settle for anything less.  Little did I know at the time that I was in charge of my own destiny.  The Secret of the Universe was real, and it was my right.  Nothing would deter me from it.

My lowly subjects and infernal worshipers, today I tell you that I have fulfilled my destiny and it was because of the Secret of the Universe.  The Law of Attraction, as we call it, allows ordinary men like you perform miracles, feats of magic, sorcery.  Yes, it will be in contrast to what society tells you.  Men who do not crave power look back on the mistakes of their lives, pile together all the nothingness, and call it “the real world.” The Law of Attraction will help you to achieve anything you want in life.  Once you learn The Secret, you will see things you’ve never seen before.  You will attract other people to you, including hot women, slaves and other men who are afraid of your ambition.  You will not only drive away in the nicest car on the block…you will fly away in a goddamned hovercraft from Hell!  You will be completely free to do whatever you want, regardless of the will of others, and the laws of society. The Law of Attraction is, simply put, “like attracts like.”  Some people mistakenly believe that The Secret has to do with positive and negative thinking, and how you alter your consciousness and program your mind.  No.  In reality, The Secret involves summoning a spirit force, a damned soul that has been trapped in purgatory, and robbing him or her of tormented energy in order to add to your own power.  In my case, I summoned the power of a sorceress.  I exploited her power, which was Grayskull’s own hidden powers.  When the Great Eye of the Galaxy opened, and the moon was aligned with Eternia, I absorbed absolute power and so I was reborn into a new creation—a new identity.  I was no longer nine-to-five blue collar Keldor.  I was Skeletor.  I was all powerful. Everything comes to he who waits.  The secret to cosmic attraction is in accepting the epiphany that the universe is evil.  If you work towards evil deeds and thus contribute to the insatiable bloodlust of the universe, anything you wish will be yours.  However, you must be an active player in reaching these goals.  Whenever opportunity comes to exploit others and satisfy your own appetite for power, grab it!  Don’t let go, because the universe doesn’t return phone calls, if you know what I mean. In my line of work, I find that most people are dreamers, not doers.  They think about being king of the world, but they are too afraid to reach out and grab that purple staff of change.  Why is there still resistance?  Because of the people.  The lowly, the sinners, the beggars.  Old crones.  Weak, withering, dying.  Contrary to popular belief, I rarely kill anyone.  I find that people do a marvelous jobs of killing themselves and making their own lives miserable.  Meanwhile, they wait.  They wait for a muscle bound champion to return, to lead them.  I say leave them be.  These people refuse to acknowledge that I have the power of Grayskull.  But why would I kill a worthless human being?  If I kill them I make them martyrs and saints.  No. I want to hear their broken words, I want their agony to warm me at night.  The loneliness of evil can only be alleviated by the suffering of innocents. Visualization helps you train your subconscious and align your soul with the destructive, murderous, engorged erection of the universe.  Repeat to yourself mantras as you meditate every night.  I like this one.  “I must possess all, or I possess nothing.”  Repeat that to yourself.  Retain that negative energy.  Let it nourish you from this day forth.

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